Meh.  Just got charged $15 for an account I had closed because I didn't know Xanga would automatically rebill every six months for Premium service I didn't care for once I got it.  No refunds tho.  And I'm tired of the front page recycling Mancouch articles which are exactly alike.  Not to mention seeing the same articles written by different people.  Like if I see another 'I hate being skinny' on there, I'll slide my stomach fat roll into a paper cutter and slice away.  So, it's prolly best that I go.  Keep in touch on myspace: myspace.com/abbiefebruary.  It's just private enough that anyone can be my friend and I won't worry about being stalked/hunted down/brutally murdered.  And I'll prob be starting a new blog at blogspot, as I'm a bit addicted to blogging and my friends in real life actually have blogspot.  This is me, giving xanga the double dueces as I walk away in a mild rage and irritated boredom.

Greatest week ever.  I've not given another thought to calories and it is wonderful!  Spent Saturday doing new things; rode the city bus for the first time and learned how it's possible to use your mind to lower your core body temperature enough that you can walk through fire unscathed from an intelligent teenage tweaker.  I also went to the liquor store for the first time, which if you know how much I drink, is saying alot!  Was a bit horrified as I walked aisle after aisle and knew what AT LEAST half of the drinks tasted like...oy. :P  It was a proud moment as I purchased my UV Blue and was asked to see my I.D.  I didn't feel like an alcoholic til I put the bottle directly into my oversize purse.  Haaaaaaa!  (PS...I am not an alcoholic!!  Just being my sarcastic, yet honest, self...mkay! :D)  I've walked probably 10 miles over that weekend; I'm very proud of that!  Tuesday night I played indoor volleyball with a friend and met a ton of new people.  That night my boyfriend came home from a week in Cali...had some dr. pepper and rum drinks, watched some Mystery Science Theater, and eventually went to sleep at 6 am so needless to say it was a great night!  Wednesday spent with the boy, played Halo 3 for the first time, watched some That 70's show while eating cereal in bed, played sand volleyball for a few hours with our friends that night, then came back to his apartment for some Bombsicles and a wicked game of Mario Strikers!  Thursday we went out with our friends for some bowling (the boy and I did lemon drop shots (3 each..yum!!) before)...tipsy bowling rocks!!  I think I scored a 73...hmmm...then we all went to dinner after and I've just been having a BLAST!!  AND I might have found amazing fall housing with my friend- for 180 a month!!  And its a private room, and has a club house, gym, POOL and HOTTUB!  Hell yeah!  Tomorrow I'm going boating and fourwheeling with tons of friends at one of their condos up in Bear Lake, sooooo excited for that!  And Monday I'm going boating with a different friend!  I'm LIVING AGAIN!!!  I'm sooo happy!  Things are just wonderful!  I love having my friends back, my boyfriend back, my life back!  And the last note...dinner last night was amazing!!  It's the first actual meal I've eaten in literally months!!  I didn't really stress about calories either!  My salad was delicious, with blue cheese dressing and crunchy croutons and crisp lettuce- HEAVEN!  And half of a turkey sandwich, with real mayo on it...so good!  All washed down with ice cold lemon water, and finished up with a few bites of French Silk pie...orgasmic!!  I've missed eating!  Mmmmm, yeah, it really hits the spot!!

Don't eat it.  Fatty, listen to me, you don't need any more food.  There is no need to shovel fat into your piggy snout until you've lost another ten pounds...AT LEAST!  A doughnut is unacceptable.  Your thunder thighs made me dry heave when I saw them in the mirror this morning.  So when you are out today, do not buy a hamburger.  One thing leads to the next, and you know this.  You don't have the control to stop at one; one leads to seven leads to a prayer on your knees in front of the porcelain god.  Vomit burning your throat, eyes watering and stinging, stomach cringing and aching.  Sh-sh-shaking.  Your hair is already falling out, you bruise like a tomato, your heart is pounding, skipping, stopping.  But Fatty, it's not good enough.  You're still not thin enough.  The mirror tells you so.  The scale never lies.  Your BMI is far from low enough.  Your stomach is far from flat enough.  I'm not being harsh, and I'm not being mean.  Just telling you the truth.  The obvious truth.  And you know it.  And so, Fatty, do not eat.  I'm begging you, do not eat.